Simply Not Cricket

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Mostly about sport this week: we chat about how a bar themed entirely on breasts — not to mention a sport where young girls show their undies — became socially acceptable in America; this leads to the subject of the unceremonious way Brits leave school. Then James gives proof that he’s going senile, and tells of the time his entire softball team spontaneously became Australian. Later, Lily takes the “That’s Not English” quiz and tries to guess what a “scalper” might be, while Paul tries to identify the British food item known only as “soldiers.”

Scousers and Brummies and Mancs

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It’s all about the wacky world of dialects this week. After learning how a scotsman would say “Pittsburgh,” and hearing a phrase that midwesterners can’t say properly, Johnson attempts to identify a variety of British regional accents and (spoiler alert) fails miserably. Later, Jon and Marie call in to play “That’s Not English” and learn that a sweep can be something other than Dick Van Dyke singing Chim Chim Cher-ee. Happy new year, everyone!

The Marmite Virgin

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For our Boxing Day show, Paul Johnson tries Marmite for the first time ever. Ordinarily, that should be enough for any show, but we also look at some British problems, wonder what’s going on with New Yorkers’ pronunciation of “hot,” argue about cakes vs. pies, and chat about words that are more rude in one country than the other. Later, James’ mum calls in for the quiz and, unfortunately, gets ornery.

 

End Of The World!

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We prepare for the earth’s imminent destruction by talking about the time James met Bob Hope, the Manchester derby, and the origins of cockney rhyming slang. Later, the “That’s Not English” quiz continues the family theme from last week as James’ big brother Jon calls in and quite possibly cheats … or at least takes a suspiciously long time guessing what “the lower 48” might be.

Pearl Harbower Day

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In our Pearl Harbo(u)r Day show, we talk about Noah Webster, the man most responsible for Americans spelling things wrong. We also make fun of an international protocol guide, and wonder how much HALF a shave and a haircut might cost. Later, James’ dad crushes the “That’s Not English” quiz with the cunning use of dramatic fiction, while Paul can only sit and gaze in wonder at the majesty of a “cat’s eye.”

Happy birthday, dad!

You Say Tomato

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This week we discuss the musical Rorschach test that is the show’s opening theme, Johnson suggests improvements for soccer, we chat about the “Twinkies” ads in old Marvel comics, and complain about how x-ray specs never worked. We also get political talking about British vs American imperialism, but that quickly gives way to the more weighty issue of sandwich-ordering. Later, the infamous “That’s Not English” quiz pits Paul against Paul as Cocker calls in to play — and while one Paul wrestles with the definition of a “boffin”, the other tries to guess what a “bear claw” might be.

Conkers!

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In our very first episode, we discuss whose Dennis The Menace is better, how Americans don’t know what Pass The Parcel is, food mishaps, and what happens (or doesn’t) when you change Sirie’s accent on your iPhone. We also finally put the “Alumin(i)um” debate to rest and later, Martin Pond calls in from the northeast corner of his bed to play “That’s Not English” – the only quiz that lets you discover what the yanks call a lilo, what the brits call a ghetto blaster, and that explaining the rules of the game “Conkers” makes people giggle a lot. Email or tweet us with your stories! In-studio guest: Paul Johnson.